• you think it’s economically wasteful to have more than one brand of product in a store.
• you think spontaneity is OK, as long as it’s planned.
• you think getting up early is good.
• you get upset in the train when foreign tourists open the window.
• you actually get interested in the local elections.
• you know the words to the Swiss national anthem.
• you expect the shop clerk to say goodbye to you after you purchase something.
• you prefer to buy in small shops even though it’s more expensive.
• you think joining clubs is an acceptable way of meeting people socially.
• you start studying for a Nachdiplom.
• you get annoyed when the car ahead of you doesn’t turn off its motor at the traffic light.
• you look forward to Wildsaison.
• you’re prepared to pay for a local dentist.
• you’re not upset when a public holiday falls on a Sunday.
• you to defend cartel-based economics to a visitor.
• you think that plaid jackets with flowery ties don’t look that bad.
• you think it’s fair that you can only wash clothes once a month.
• you wonder why anyone would want to shop outside of working hours.
• you get concerned about all the foreigners moving into the country.
• you approve of school on Saturday mornings.
• you don’t mind spending all day in the restaurant at a ski resort and wonder why all the foreigners insist on skiing when the conditions are less than optimal.
• you know the difference between Cafe Traesch and Cafe Luetz and get upset when other people don’t.
• you become suspicious when people think independently.
• you decide on going on vacation in the U.S., buying a car and driving around for six months.
• you can comment on the quality of English schools in southern England and California.
• you consider taking a vacation to Florida but then don’t go because you think it’s too dangerous.
• you think it’s okay to drive slow on Sundays.
• you pull out in front of another car to reserve your place.
• you reserve your table first before getting food– in a cafeteria.
• you don’t worry about your jacket being stolen in a restaurant.
• you feel like you’re broke if you have less than $300 in your pocket.
• you get upset when someone pays with a credit card instead of paying cash.
• you dress up to go grocery shopping.
• you wear white socks with black shoes.
• you feel embarrassed when your squash racket grip doesn’t match your socks.
• you wish the Swiss government would do something about their refugee policy.
• you hope Switzerland doesn’t join the European community.
• you consider food with garlic in it to be spicy.
• you understand why Chinese food should cost more than normal food.
• you get embarrassed when a visitor asks for a doggie bag in a restaurant.
• you prefer Swiss wine.
• you are willing to pay higher prices because it ensures higher quality.
• you wish that your town used expensive garbage bags, too.
• you assume that all blacks are foreigners.
• you consider target shooting a sport.
• you assume all Asians are refugees.
• you think it’s okay for a Chinese restaurant to be run be a Swiss, staffed by Spaniards and Portuguese.
• you don’t mind waiting in restaurants.
• your German is better than the waiter’s.
• you insist on speaking German to people who obviously speak English.
• you know the difference between and Landsprach and an Amtsprach.
• you stop liking peanut butter.
• you start capitalizing Nouns and joining Bigwords together.
• you think that Generalversammlung is an important event.
• you don’t mind houseflies anymore.
• you start preparing costumes for Fastnacht.
• you join a Guggimusik band.
• you think Thursday night shopping is really convenient.
• you entertain in restaurants.
• you decline an invitation because you have to clean your apartment.
• you don’t take part in a sporting event because you’re not dressed for it.
• you consider it normal to make reservations to see a movie.
• you are glad for the pause during a movie so you can smoke a cigarette and buy ice cream.
• you prefer fizzy mineral water to tap water.
• you worry that you don’t have the right sort of glasses for the drinks you’re going to serve.
• you throw a party and expect everyone to leave by 11:30.
• you expect dinner guests to help with the washing up.
• you think air conditioning makes people sick.
• you begin to understand the subtlety of the Swiss cuisine.
• you appreciate the difference between the cantons.
• you prefer plain chocolate to candy bars.
• you have yogurt and breakfast cereal for dinner.
• you consider it healthy to eat lots of milk products and lean red meat.
• you don’t mind paying $12 for a paperback book.
• you think that 3% unemployment is high.
• you think that it was through their own efforts that Switzerland stayed out of World War II.
• you consider getting goats and sheep to graze in your backyard.
• you think wood is “heimlich.”
• you start to think in kilometers.
• you don’t feel embarrassed when you order something non-alcoholic in a bar.
• you only eat fondue in winter.
• you complain to the neighbor about the noise when he flushes his toilet after 10 pm.
• you become interested in the myriad insurance offerings.
• you call the police when you see someone washing their car on a Sunday.
• you volunteer to help organize the Dorffest.  
• you wonder why anyone would want such a big refrigerator.
• you aren’t surprised when a perfectly good road is torn up and repaved.
• you buy a new ski suit every year.
• you put Aromat on all your food.
• you think it’s okay to wear red Levis.
• you start judging the quality of Birchermüsli.  
• you start complaining about the difficulty of finding really good Bauernschnapps.
• you expect beer prices to go up after midnight.
• you refuse to tell someone your salary.
• you think that Switzerland’s conservations efforts make a difference.  
• you think that hard work is responsible for the stability of the Swiss Franc.
• you feel offended by reading this.
• you read this far.

(Disclaimer: This is not my original work, but it was so funny I had to share here. This is really about the German-speaking part of Switzerland from a mixture of American and English points of view.)